Does this thing really work? If it does, it’ll just be something else I use very infrequently to update the blog.

My favorite three-word phrase this week.  Late-game heroics.  If you’re on the right side of them, they can uplift, excite, amaze, and even comfort.  If you’re on the wrong side of them, it can feel like you just shotgunned a can of gasoline. 

Two quarterbacks and two kickers were in the spotlight on two consecutive days, and all four went on to win their games and keep their teams’ streaks alive, but only three of them deserve much adulation for that. 

From what I saw Saturday night (after going to the SEC Championship – Bama looked scary good – and then my firm’s holiday party), Texas looked sorely overmatched by a hungry Nebraska defense, and golden boy Colt McCoy, the man who put on Vince Young’s enormous shoes three years ago and started setting records immediately, looked instead like a kid who was pulled out of the stands to play the fourth quarter.  He set the record for touchdown passes by a freshman despite being injured for two games, then two years later he set the NCAA record for pass completion percentage in a season at an astonishing 77.6% while also leading his team in rushing.  This season has been somewhat lackluster for him, but none of the top Heisman contenders really separated themselves (until Ingram’s monster game against Florida on Saturday afternoon). 

Saturday night, he had a chance to change that, but didn’t.  Couldn’t, I guess.  But he did manage to engineer a late game drive after Nebraska took a 12-10 lead with under two minutes remaining, leading Texas down the field and getting us into field goal range with 0:08 left on the clock.  Time for one play, maybe one shot at the end zone, or at least a shorter kick for Hunter Lawrence.  Colt took the snap on third down, and with an unused timeout in his pocket, scrambled, saw nothing, and launched the ball out of bounds to stop the clock.  The clock stopped.  At 0:00.  Luckily for the good guys, replay officials put one second back on the clock, because the ball landed out of bounds with one second still on the clock.  Fourth down.  0:01 remaining.  Down by two.  Hunter Lawrence trots onto the field to attempt a 46-yarder, which would be a tie for his career long.  His stomach must have been in about 1,000 knots.  Mine was.  As I was gripping my Shiner Bock bottle so tightly I thought it might shatter in my hands, Hunter nailed the 46-yarder, which barely missed both a block by Nebraska as well as the left upright, sending Texas to Pasadena to play Bama for the National Championship, and sending a wave of relief over me.  All I could do was sit down and rest for a minute. 

Thanks, Hunter Lawrence, for your late-game heroics.  Colt McCoy owes you a Rolex after he gets drafted.

Sunday afternoon, the 11-0 New Orleans Saints hit Washington to play the terrible Redskins.  The Skins are bad, make no mistake about it.  But somehow, they showed up against New Orleans, and led most of the game.  The Apostle Drew Brees (I just joined the “Jews for Breesus” page on Facebook) showed his everpresent and remarkable poise once again, leading the Saints to a late touchdown to tie the game with 1:19 left on a 53-yard touchdown pass to send it into overtime.  Once again, he drove the Saints down the field and put them within range of Garrett Hartley, who wasn’t even the Saints’ kicker when the season started.  Hartley drilled an 18-yarder to win it, keeping the Saints perfect at 12-0. 

Thank you, Drew Brees and Garrett Hartley, for your late-game heroics.  Colt McCoy should also buy you both a Rolex, just for the hell of it.

All apologies to Breesus and his 5 TDs, but Vince Young is, to my great delight, the hottest thing in the NFL right now. If they can get past the Colts next week (BIG if), then it’s not inconceivable for them to turn an 0-6 record into a 10-6 record and make the playoifs. They’re halfway there now.

Happy Halloween, everybody (if there’s anybody still reading this practically defunct website).

Guys, this blog has just about had it.  I’m sorry.  Anybody looking to read about anything other than Vince Young should probably look elsewhere, at least until Lost comes back in January.

Along those lines, this is a really great story.  It shows that, even though he’s not starting right now, his head is on straight and he is committed to doing the right thing off the field, which is more important than doing the right thing on the field.  When his time comes to retake control of this team, he is going to be a monster.  (I can’t wait for that!)

Um, I'd Like to Double Down, Please

Um, I'd Like to Double Down, Please

Top Chef Las Vegas kicked off last night, and I couldn’t have been happier to welcome my future second wife Padma Lakshmi, along with the new and improved Gail Simmons and the smug but somehow likeable Tom Colleccio, back into my life.  I thought it was a pretty good opener, but it didn’t give us a ton of insight into too many of the chefs.  I don’t even really remember many of their names, but I have devised a few nicknames for some of them, in the hopes of telling one from another.  None of my nicknamed chefs got sent home last night, so we’ll have to see what the season holds in store for Douche Brother (the brother that is a douchebag), Philly (the chick with the REALLY annoying Philly accent), the Hatian Sensation (self-explanatory.  I can’t understand a word he says.), Granola (soft-spoken tatted chick from the Pacific Northwest), Ginormous Beard (which I just decided to shorten to GBeard for brevity’s sake – local ATL chef).  I don’t really remember much of the rest of them, except for the other two ATL chefs who didn’t really do so well last night.  Got to give it up to GBeard for winning the first week.  I haven’t been to his restaurant, Woodfire Grill, but now I might have to check it out.

I don’t know if I’m going to be blogging about each episode like I did last season.  Something about sitting in front of the TV with a laptop, banging out snarky comments in real time doesn’t appeal to me as much as sitting in front of the TV with my iPhone, banging out snarky comments in real time, which resulted in a series of 140-character or less updates via Twitter, which @lacupcake referred to as my “twitterthon.”  (Shameless self promotion alert: If you want to follow me on Twitter, I’m on there with the ridiculously clever name of @bendorfman.)  Just in case you’re not on Twitter and don’t plan on getting on Twitter, I have cut and pasted my #topchef related Twitter updates below (they’re in reverse order, so start at the bottom).  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m at the cutting edge of social media.  Enjoy. 

  • One tatted chick down, two to go. Hopefully granola will stick around awhile. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon 
  • Thanks to Gail and Padma, as far as I’m concerned, we’re all winners tonight. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon  
  • Gail Simmons’ boobs are making a statement: Padma ain’t got the only rack at Judges’ Table. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon  
  • Oh, Padma. How I have missed you so. Thank you for following up the black dress with that red one. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon  
  • So far I’m pulling for the Hatian Sensation and the granola chick. And the big dude from the ATL with the ginormous beard. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon  
  • That chick from Philly is annoying the crap out of me. I hope she takes that 15 grand home after losing the elim. challenge. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon 
  • Wardrobe dept deserves a raise – that black dress on Padma is kickin! Must be the Hardees burgers she’s been eating. #topchefabout 13 hours ago from TwitterFon  
  • Tough chicks covered in tats – wow, that sure was unexpected. #topchefabout 14 hours ago from TwitterFon  
  • T-minus 4 minutes until Top Chef Las Vegas!! #fb
  • The Loudest Noise Comes From The Electric Dorfman.

    Enter a word for your own slogan:

    Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Get more dorfman slogans.

    Thanks, Pop Candy, for linking to this website that will create an advertising slogan for any word you give it.  This was definitely my favorite.  Enjoy.

    http://creative.myspacecdn.com/Client/YumBrands/KFC/Tech/aug09_voting.html?24149615

    My friend Howard is under the impression that there are people who read this blog.  If that is the case, and someone does read this, you should click on the above link and watch the video about the ultimate KFC (yes, KFC) fans.  I know Howard to be fanatical about three things: 1) Bourbon (with a capital B), 2) blindly and unapologetically rooting for the undisputed alpha dog of the world champion Los Angeles Lakers, despite the fact that said alpha dog may or may not have a bit of a checkered past in the area of women’s rights, and 3) KFC.  He loves the stuff.  Do us both a favor and vote for him.

    It has been brought to my attention that I haven’t posted in over 3 weeks.  Ever since season 5 of Lost ended in May, I admit I haven’t been very committed to posting, and when I do, it’s usually about food or Vince Young.  I am unapologetic for that. 

    Vince Young to Donovan McNabb, Tarvaris Jackson, David Garrard, Jason Campbell, and JaMarcus Russell: Suck it.

    That is all.

    Did some work around the house this weekend, including hanging some pegboard in the garage. Now, I’m not exactly a construction worker, but I’m not afraid to use a tool now and again. That said, this was a frustrating project. It exposed me as a bit less handy than I thought I was.

    But this is my house, dammit, and I was determined to get it finished. And although it took maybe two or three times as long as it should have, I got it done this afternoon, and my completely unbiased opinion is that it is the finest pegboard that has ever hung in a garage.

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